The Problem With Following the Rules

Requests

I want to see him nourish and blossom

out of the little flower he so comfortably resides in.

I want him to be the best in his mind.

I want him to realize that it doesn't matter about the differences between me and him

or the similarities.

I want him to grow up to be someone who enjoys his life.

I want him to grow up to be the reason I saw purpose in mine.

I want him to be everlastingly content.

I want him to smile.

I want him to fly.

I want him to soar.

And lastly, I want him to feel safe and loved and never once ashamed,

because Waheguru, I am afraid he doesn't feel safe or loved.

But I love him.

I love him with so much heart that I can feel my body turn rigid and cold

whenever I see him with his lifeless eyes and salty tears.  

I hope he finds the courage one day to look beyond the small words

and stand tall against all those who expected his failure,

who expected his downfall,

who expected his end.

I know one day I will see him rise and rise and rise.

And only then, will I see that my life was not about me at all.

It was always, always about him.

What If?

We linger. We hesitate. We doubt.

We become anxious, waiting for truths.

We become nervous, expecting lies.

We become curious of the unknowns, and yet

We become afraid of knowing.

Because 

What if the truths I learn, I wish were lies?

What if?